love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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