i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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