dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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