my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
