So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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