You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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