Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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