You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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