guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize