The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
