I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
