I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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