you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
