I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
