Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
