Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
