Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
