Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
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I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
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He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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