just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
