So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
