i don't like sucking hair
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
