If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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