The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
