i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
