Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
