id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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