I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
