4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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