As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
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It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
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and you fell through a lawn chair
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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