i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
they need to just BURY HIM!
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
