Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
