He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
