My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
