Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
