Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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