Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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