Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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