She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
