apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
