my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
