my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
That's how pantless uber rides happen
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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