The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
please don't ironically join a cult
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