Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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