On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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