Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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