Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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