Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
