Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
