I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
