Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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