I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
