the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
