It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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