so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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