I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
