Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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