just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
