I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
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