yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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