I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
