Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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