i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
What happened to fro yo and sex?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
