At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I believe in your delicious
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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