help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
my being single is dangerous.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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