I'm gonna have a badass scar
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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