he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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