I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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