he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
