I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
